Well, it hasn’t been yet, be nice if it is. The story behind the acceptance is pure beauty, a fairytale like no other, Fred’s version of course.
However, I know if the current invite is not accepted it really is only a matter of time. Within moments, a couple of days, of putting myself where I really really wanted to be what I really really wanted was sitting right there in front of me. Meeting people does not take long when the circumstances make the meeting simple.
Simple it was, simple all the way through. Still simple even now.
Wasn’t what I wanted at all, do not know what I want, do not care, the very best part. It was Woman, just Woman, not this Woman or that Woman, plain old Woman. Cellulose, breasts starting to show the effects of gravity, a little bit of a muffin belly, the body of a life lived. One without children to this point, still, absolutely the definition of Woman, just Woman, normal Woman, every Woman.
I am, of course, talking about Anja. She can come or go, whatever, it does not matter to me. She brought value to my life and nothing else, she indicated that she wanted to continue but did not say the words. I did. Last night I asked her if she shared the same ones, I’d like to continue seeing you. I do not know what she wants, will not pretend to.
Seeing, exactly, see, not a device or anywhere/anything else. Together, see, see only. If our interactions are not in person there will be no interactions at all, nothing. A screen does not bring value to my life, she does, I do. If she doesn’t want to continue adding it, I still will, so be it. I know the next story will be equally amazing, it has to be, each new story is more perfect than the last. I am manifesting my own life, the perfect one for me, simply by being me at all times.
My life comes to me.
Phenomenally beautiful but requires full trust. I am going to give you an opportunity to tell me what you want, enough of an opportunity and then stay or go. Anja, it is leading towards going, it is the way that it is. It’s her choice. I will not wait longer than I need to, give her the opportunity to respond. Currently she is out of reception mostly.
She says yes but requires me waiting longer I say no, because ultimately this yes from her is still a no. It says, no, at the moment, but I’d like you to wait for me for a while in case it turns into a yes in that moment. No, I’m not waiting, this is a no. Immediately I move on, accept it, continue to put myself in positions for me, meet new people, start again.
The most important aspect to my new life is the removal of isolation, it is the only thing I need right now, desperately in a way. Coming up to 3.5 years being alone is a lot of alone, gets extremely hard. Therefore I will not limit the opportunity to remove this awful shit from my life by waiting around for anything at all, especially not the potential of a promise.
So, here, with you ladies, in part two of our conversation, we remove my isolation together. See what happens, see how we go.
I’m still isolated clearly, taking a punt here, a punt am very much happy to take.
I’d love to tell the story of me and Anja to now, but I won’t, it wasn’t anything other than what it was, two people bringing value to one another. Until it becomes a thing worth sharing as the most beautiful thing, if it ever does, there is no place for it. If this is not it, the next one will be, or the one after that. We’ll have fun in the meantime.
To be honest, bit anxious if the next tale is taller, this story was already too beautiful, unsure how it could ever be surpassed, let alone equalled, be reached again in any way.
It’s almost like I am playing my very own game!