Spending a bit of time at Vinnies sorting clothes, vacuuming, and having a great chilled time. Talk bugger all, five minutes here and there mainly with the ladies putting the price tags on the clothes and putting them on the racks. Mostly it is great.
The particular shop is wonderful, just wonderful, an excellent environment has been created for all the workers and the patrons. We are clean, uncluttered and are regularly seen participating in all activities that ensure people know we care about this, the shop, them, we want everybody to be here.
There are some non-wonderful stuffs too, clearly, happens everywhere and in all environments. The problem with the non-wonderful here is who it is coming from, and then what they do to the worlds in which they exist in.
I’m sure we are going to talk about parenting here, a few other things that fit into it, using the examples at this place.
Post-natal depression
Before this, anyone see the peri-menopause adds on TV? Is this really what the Australian government is wasting its time and resources on? How many fucking millions of dollars are going into this thing which is not a thing at all? Wasting money on a developmental stage for all women? Is this how fucking dumb and worthless we have let ourselves become?
Look, am not sure her name is Jo, this woman is the most ignorant person in the whole place and her existence is absolutely insignificant to me.
Today took Maeve for a big walk in the bush, ended up being much bigger than anticipated. Near the end went this way instead of that and walked for an additional 45 minutes or so on top of the hour and 15 already. Maeve loves walks but she is not a walking dog. These types of walks too regularly are not the best for her.
It was great for me though, on the way back I reflected on a comment Jo made, a comment before the comment that required me to speak up.
Yes, required, you bring harmful ignorance into my space I will speak up, as all of you should do if you have taken any steps on the way. Should just fucking do anyway if you are not a coward.
My mother is getting worse and worse, being too depressed to do anything, she won’t take more anti-depressants. She says they make her feel awful but she needs them and won’t listen to me telling her to take them.
This should be enough of Jo but we are going to talk about something that needs talking about, her examples make it clear to help you understand.
A little later I cried, a little cry for me, still the first cry for months and it was great. Little cry but had to pull over to the side of the road, let myself collapse into. Lasted about 30 seconds and the very last bit hit the core of the pain inside me that has been there for so long, the thing that is presenting more and more animatedly daily.
Mum was on her deathbed, literally on her deathbed. It would be the last hours she spent breathing on this earth. Leading up to this point she was heavily drugged, by choice, but she was still responsive.
The nurses came into our room and said that they were asking Mum if she wanted more drugs but could not understand her responses anymore. We were asked to give permission for them to administer additional doses that would effectively mean her last hours were in a vegetative state. We said yes.
We just said yes, none of us went to see Mum, try and understand her response for ourselves, there is every chance we would have understood her final wishes. We removed all sense from her until the point she was absolutely senseless, motionless, powerless, basically all animation gone.
But, my mother, fuck she was a strong woman, drugged to the nines and still she fought, fought to be with us in our last moments with her. She would have said no to them, am absolutely sure of it, yet I took away her choice without giving her the attention and opportunity to make it for herself.
Jo, your mother does not want drugs, she wants meaningful engagement bud, it is so simple but you are too fucking lazy to help her with it. Too much of a coward to be with the feelings inside yourself that you push yourself onto your mother, drug her to the fuck so that you cannot see her suffering, you can ignore it all and continue to tell yourself you did the best for her, are a good daughter, a person worthy of being a mother.
Jo is trying to force her mother to go to see a cousellor or one of the psych varieties but her mum will not go, she won’t even see a councellor no matter how hard I try to get her to go.
Now, first, this sentence really means, she doesn’t want to go, I want her to go so I think I am doing something for her. So I pressure and force her at every opportunity, eventually she will break, eventually she will do what I tell her to do. Eventually I will be able to ignore her again.
This is where I stepped in, banged on about the ineffectiveness of the mental health discipline, how awful they are, how the data clearly states this shit is a failure, that it is wrong.
No wonder your mother doesn’t want to go, clearly gets it.
Fred was talking about the mental health discipline, explaining what these medications do when Jo commented that the only reason she could function with her post-natal depression was medication, he only replied, am getting to that, first we have to understand what the mental health industry does.
Jo didn’t want to hear any of it, just expects everybody to say what she needs them to say, expects them to say, like everybody in the environment she has created for herself, her coward husband/partner the major victim. Well, of course, until her children came along. We know Jo was and is a horrible mother.
She didn’t listen to anything I said, yeah I change between first and third person, get used to it, only heard what she wanted to hear. Wasn’t even there when I brought it together with these drugs stop us from feeling, they inhibit it as much as the mental health industry already has. The human condition is to remove all feeling and run away from true expression and emotion, it is the reason for the fucking horrible world we live in.
Nope, as soon as there was no siding and being okay with pharamceuticals as the solution she tuned out. Didn’t say a word to Fred clearly, these types of cowards never do, instead went and whinged to Sue the manager later that I offended her.
Sue talks to me about it in the morning and was very clear in stating that this woman, and another there at the time (not you Jo, the Jo I know is Jo, you stayed with me and I know it helped you understand), are snipers. Different words but snipers none-the-less.
Sue, I hear you, however I said nothing about the post-natal shit, was stating how the current mental health model and these medications work and nothing but.
‘I know, you, we all have to be very careful with these women.’
So, Jo, just so the information where you might actually look at yourself for once is out there for you in an undeniable fashion. Not just me pal.
Then, from here, gossip will fill her world. Pointing and pointing and pointing, fingers, toes, knees and toes at everything and everyone without ever taking the responsibility for anything.
So, Jo, again, I know you are a FUCKING AWFUL mother because you are a FUCKING AWFUL person.
Yes bud, just like my little brother the people around you will fill you with the shit you need, oh no Jo you are a great mother all that rubbish simply because they are also equally horrible parents and people too. Their words, like yours mate, mean absolutely shit, nothing at all.
Post-natal depression, am starting to understand it from the examples I have personally experienced, am pretty damn sure every other example will follow the same mould.
You are a horrible person, just a horrible blaming coward of a cunt. Never taking any responsibility for anything in your horrible world, never looking at yourself in the mirror and working towards adding your first slice of value or meaning to the world and you think you are worthy of being a mother? Come on now, seriously buds, seriously Jo.
This is your post-natal depression guys, the true you underneath all your shit seeing what you have just done, are doing. That you are going to do the horrible that you are to another, to the most innocent and defenceless, do it to them to force them to become you. When it knows, you know, that you are the worst thing there is.
It is saying, how the fuck could you possibly think you can do this? I am taking over and stopping you from doing all the harm you are about to. You are a fucked up cunt me.
It surely makes sense? Does it not? Look at the evidence pals and not simply what you want something to be.
Jo, like so many mothers, all of you, are a horrible person pal, therefore you know you were a horrible mother.
Then, the most horrible, instead of finally taking repsonsibility, listening to and fixing yourself before you influence this innocent life at all you dumb-off all your feelings so you can continue projecting you, the most awful thing there is to project.
Just fucking hell buds, be so much better. And Jo, your poor kids, adults themselves now, having their own kids, oh their poor kids, what a vicious vicious cycle.