Applying the basics leads to the most beautiful of beautiful things. There are no words to describe the outcome, the best one can do is use their strongest word to add the required emphasis. In this case the best Freddy can do is to say it is a phenomenal life.
I’ll take over narrator.
My life really is pure beauty. Parrticularly in one specific aspect. The aspect being when I really do not want to do something I do it, and get super duper excited when the oppportunity comes along.
The news from the bank account the other day made it clear that the one thing above all things that makes me sick to my stomach, literally, the idea of having to return to Australia is now an inevitability.
There was a tantrum, Fred version, all fours on the bed, arms stretched straight in front, head in the pillow, breathing deeply into the body. Then, tears, a quiet scream or six. 20 minutes later a massive smile, the knowing this is going to be fun and I began to look forward to it. Today, am super excited to go home, almost weeing the pants kind of excitement.
Australia, she has nothing for me, therefore she has everything! The possibilities are endless, including the very small possibility of going to jail for defying the police order Danyel actioned. Defying it many many times, the evidence is all here, hard to argue with.
Whatever is will be, including prison and therefore significant restrictions to my movements moving forward. It is what it is, a new experience, something else I do not understand through experience and therefore I get to experience.
Am even looking forward to the outcome of that stupid shit. It is what it means to live a completely free unattached life, to go into every new moment with an open mind, heart and enthusiasm for the journey.
Then, there is the opposite aspect, when I really want something I deny myself of it completely.
Fucking women, this is my favourite thing in the whole wide world to do. I have not done it at all for such a long time, am completely okay with it, no problem.
Now, with the not giving a fuck about getting a root, it is the learning opening right up.
Going home to my sister’s where I get to interact completely as me, especially with my beautiful nieces is the best tool for me to open up in trust around others. These people are the best mirrors a man can have, if they can accept me again and love me completely for the now me I will be ready for the women and family part.
It is the proof I need to show myself that I am ready, that I can be the father and partner my ambitions are driving me towards.
Reading your life brings these beautiful understandings. Literally am going to a house with two women and two teenage ladies likely going through puberty. They will definitely let me know in many ways if I need to pull my head in. These guys, the however many months at home, are another learning tool to prepare me for my future.
Knowing this shit and how it makes a life the best of the best things comes from applying the basics. Where I am, 20 minutes to accept and express and then be free of the tension from the only thing that I have some type of fear towards. In the process opening a llfe of phenomenal expression, freedom and gratitude for each new moment.
It’s for you too reader, where you are at on your process versus me, how far in front or behind you are. Kaise, for example, is a fair way behind me, after eight days she is still trying to process the understanding that her life is not the integrity she is proclaiming it to be. A long way behind, but not far at all.
For your progress, to see if you can add value to this conversationn you just need to think without ego. How long does it take you to accept the less desirable shit in your life? How long do you think it would take you to accept the most undesirable of all of it? It’s not about ego pals, just understanding, listening to somebody who is worth listening to.
Someone who lives the most phenomenal of phenomenal lives.