Applying the basics leads to the most beautiful of beautiful things. There are no words to describe the outcome, the best one can do is use their strongest word to add the required emphasis. In this case the best Freddy can do is to say it is a phenomenal life.
I’ll take over narrator.
My life really is pure beauty. Parrticularly in one specific aspect. The aspect being when I really do not want to do something I do it, and get super duper excited when the oppportunity comes along.
The news from the bank account the other day made it clear that the one thing above all things that makes me sick to my stomach, literally, the idea of having to return to Australia is now an inevitability.
There was a tantrum, Fred version, all fours on the bed, arms stretched straight in front, head in the pillow, breathing deeply into the body. Then, tears, a quiet scream or six. 20 minutes later a massive smile, the knowing this is going to be fun and I began to look forward to it. Today, am super excited to go home, almost weeing the pants kind of excitement.
Australia, she has nothing for me, therefore she has everything! The possibilities are endless, including the very small possibility of going to jail for defying the police order Danyel actioned. Defying it many many times, the evidence is all here, hard to argue with.
Whatever is will be, including prison and therefore significant restrictions to my movements moving forward. It is what it is, a new experience, something else I do not understand through experience and therefore I get to experience.
Am even looking forward to the outcome of that stupid shit. It is what it means to live a completely free unattached life, to go into every new moment with an open mind, heart and enthusiasm for the journey.
Then, there is the opposite aspect, when I really want something I deny myself of it completely.
Fucking women, this is my favourite thing in the whole wide world to do. I have not done it at all for such a long time, am completely okay with it, no problem.
Now, with the not giving a fuck about getting a root, it is the learning opening right up.
Going home to my sister’s where I get to interact completely as me, especially with my beautiful nieces is the best tool for me to open up in trust around others. These people are the best mirrors a man can have, if they can accept me again and love me completely for the now me I will be ready for the women and family part.
It is the proof I need to show myself that I am ready, that I can be the father and partner my ambitions are driving me towards.
Reading your life brings these beautiful understandings. Literally am going to a house with two women and two teenage ladies likely going through puberty. They will definitely let me know in many ways if I need to pull my head in. These guys, the however many months at home, are another learning tool to prepare me for my future.
Knowing this shit and how it makes a life the best of the best things comes from applying the basics. Where I am, 20 minutes to accept and express and then be free of the tension from the only thing that I have some type of fear towards. In the process opening a llfe of phenomenal expression, freedom and gratitude for each new moment.
It’s for you too reader, where you are at on your process versus me, how far in front or behind you are. Kaise, for example, is a fair way behind me, after eight days she is still trying to process the understanding that her life is not the integrity she is proclaiming it to be. A long way behind, but not far at all.
For your progress, to see if you can add value to this conversationn you just need to think without ego. How long does it take you to accept the less desirable shit in your life? How long do you think it would take you to accept the most undesirable of all of it? It’s not about ego pals, just understanding, listening to somebody who is worth listening to.
Someone who lives the most phenomenal of phenomenal lives.
A phenomenal choice
Returning to Australia was always bound to be the toughest thing to do.
Absolutely knew it would be easy coming home, super easy, it is ridiculously so, yet it is still the toughest thing available (to me).
I am not trying to save my life, it is not sacred to me, my job to be and experience myself has been done. There are choices we get to make when we learn to experience ourselves purely and truly as ourselves, the most important the future life experience choice, we can be anything we want.
I want a real conversation, a continuous ongoing real conversation, it is the only thing I want to experience, without it there is nothing left for me on this earth, this universe, this creator. I do not want what it wants, and I do not need or care about experiencing what it is like to be God, no interest at fucking all.
God, Creator, Global Consciousness, every other fucked up name and word for it is the most disgusting of disgusting things, the evidence on this is clear. It is also the most beautiful, but it is the disgusting that I give a shit about.
The amount of harm, suffering and pain this thig creates every day, does it consciously, makes horrible decisions to do horrible shit every moment. NO, fuck you mate, you are not my hero, my idol, my inspiration, my muse or take up any of my care factor. You, mate, are the cunt of all cunts.
God, you lie, cheat, steal, rape, pillage, touch young kids cocks and cunts, commit war and atrocities in countless numbers. Who the fuck in their right sain mind would want to be you? Only the mentally ill, the sickest of sick could ever want to be you, could think to worship and honour you, would be so ignorant as to think you are a pathway to a better life.
I have experienced me bud, just me void of you, and it has been phenomenal pal. Pure phenomenal. I have done it by removing you, by just returning to me, you are beneath me and then some. Unlike last time I said these words now you know they are true, now you know beyond doubt the bullshit coward crackhead that you are. God you are weak mate.
I don’t need more from this life, I do not choose to live it out alone in the mountains, I choose to have a real conversation and then die or prove it is not available, then die. It is a phenomenal choice, I die, you lose mate, you are not worth any more of my moments, I press my own red button.
After all, we have three choices in life, accept shit is the first. Accepting means accepting, no more narrative or repetetive thoughts, negative or positive emotions when the topic returns to your life. You’ve accepted it, nothing more to do about it.
I do not accept this world as it is, not at all, not while you in the form of a parent are raping your own children. Fuck you bud, acceptance is not a choice I make.
I can change it, choice two. Oh boy have I tried, the shit I am doing is all testament to that try. God I have tried mate.
Three, remove myself from the situation. Remove myself, not the other participant/s, only myself is available. Hence my red button is currently in the lead for my future were I a betting man.
People, you God, are the stupidest of stupid, they are not worth the breath it takes to say hello. There is not a single one in my experience of 43 years of participation on earth, none that I have heard the words from via some type of media, nobody anywhere worth spending a moment with. Then the moments I do spend with you, fucking hell, your words, your stupid stupid pathetic ignorant words, they kill brain cells quicker than alcohol, and cancer.
If you thought when reading this you are worth talking to I am talking directly to you cunt. If your response was anything other than the shame of finally taking accountability for the shit you spray or are agreeing with me I am talking directly to you, you pathetic oxygen thieving prick.
Look, clearly, there are videos now, my demeanour here is the same as them, remember that. It is fun, it is so easy, it is the truth and anyone with a working brain understands it.
So, Australia she is tough because the last place on earth that is going to produce the next someone worth talking to would be this ignorance hell hole. But, who knows, it produced the first and so far only, miracles do fucking happen.
Like, please, somebody, anybody, wake the fuck up and be a half decent animated thing, whatever you describe yourself as. Just one real conversation, just one person worth talking to, just one. It really could save a life, a life worth saving, a phenomenal life that the liver does not give a single fuck about continuing or not continuing.
Will live until he decides not to, a phnomenal choice, a phenomenal life, a free life, the free life.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, a Fred life.