Expression is the key to freedom, free unrestricted expression, expression of the obstacles in the way.
My life is restricted by me, learned from the pathway I have chosen, it is very hard. It could be said that Taoism is to blame. However, the basic Tao concepts are living in simplicity, in integrity, to be what you say you are. Firstly to be, then say what you are should you need to. The Tao has no blame, it is nothing but a set of simple questions.
It is a difficult existence, it is extremely lonely, connection is near impossible to come by. Imagine LaoTzu walked off into the same place I am to be honest. To live in truth and see so much destruction because nobody else does is hard. To be continuously rejected because you choose not to live in prison is also very hard.
There is no true connection in the human world, why would anybody truly want to participate in it with the exception of living a life without integrity.
I don’t know what is best yet, best for me. Continue to bother or give my last moment of bother.
Narelle tried to tell me that I do not need to be a martyr, I am not nor will be, sympathy is not my goal, awareness is. Awareness to every idiot mentioned here and their laziness and apathy. The bullshit that is the Australian attachment to glorifying war and then letting a good man die.
No, a great man, that is what I really am, the best of the best, have said it before. I love Me and my life with every ounce of my being and I will not compromise it to be the pathetically weak you need me to be. I despise who you are, all of you. Yet, my heart bleeds every moment with you begging for you to express one moment of truth, to live, to know where peace lives.
I am sick of showing up to help you until security returns only to leave without having any security myself. Still, without having a single meaningful conversation or connection with you when you had so many with me.
Mostly I bring awareness to a fighter, the lover of lovers, the man who loved his life so much he would not make any compromises in order to keep it, to be accepted by you. I accept that I may never ever be accepted and therefore need to be no longer.
Awareness, yes, to suicide being a tool of acceptance rather than desperation and hence you, so many of you, ignored so so much. Nothing of what has been said should be ignored, it still is, it is horrible.
So awareness to the acceptance that I am, as you are, we all are, better off without this world, without you, without me.