We’re finally there, Groundskeeper Part Two proper, the little signs tell me this. Was just writing, getting shit out there, yelling a little, knowing it wasn’t right all the while. The most obvious of obvious was missing from it all, stage two of Fred’s game, We.
This is the aim of the game now, experience We, what a safe We is. It is the only thing that is left that is of interest to experience that I have not to this point.
The idea is the nuclear family. Nuclear family meaning the two people have babies and raise them together. It does not need to be this.
Family to me is people sharing the same space sharing themselves, they are working together to be the best version of who they are. Critical feedback is welcome, critical feedback based on examples. Everyone understands this, it is a strong version of We.
The Army, it was a strong version of this too, beautifuil family created among boys (generally) who have left their homes for the first time. Many boys who had never gone 20 kilometres beyond their family home, nuclear or otherwise.
There is a letter to Woman, have described a body part that is not required to be with me, it’s a preference but not a necessity. Children, the family, do not need to come from your body, or mine. Those that come into our world come into our world, they are equal, we are all people. Family, a space where all people are equal, it is all it needs to be.
People not treating people equally has been the downfall with living around other people, hence the hesitance to spend time in the medicine and spirituality spaces again, it is possible though, it has to be. There is evidence.
My nuclear family (with some astericks), same with just about all of yours, was the most phenomenally beautiful of phenomenally beautiful things at times, many times. Others it was a hell that destroyed lives before they started. I know it can be both beautiful and harmful, and have a clear understanding of the reasons behind it. Not all people are treated equally as people.
The father and mother stereotype is holding us all back. We can be it, call ourselves it, but the harmful point is we try to live up to the stereotype rather than just being the mother and father. Forcing and pressuring people to be what we want them to be stops them from ever becoming who they are.
Yes, there is protection, but screaming and yelling for making a mess is not protection, it is the parent projecting themselves, their irrational feelings, onto their children in order for that child to become just like them, so they never challenge them.
Sarah and her Dad, Reginald. This was the problem, Sarah has intelligence but it is completely destroyed due to discouragement. She can’t bring it out, let her brain do its thing, because of the continuous trauma. Ray, same man, is seriously ignorant, he is the most unintelligent man I know, again, Sarah is not.
Ray cannot be challenged, he blows up, and I have blown at him. Anything that he does not understand or is not his way, he blows up. Sarah asking questions and not accepting his answers that made no sense challenged him and so he forced himself on her. Pushed her and pushed her, attacked and attacked, made sure her voice and confidence was lower to the ground than her pussy. Far out he treated her poorly.
The above example is so common, maybe not to this degree but it happens in every house, hence there is family violence in every home, in every street, in every town of the entire world. If we want to fix it, it starts with you and me. The starting point is understanding our own behaviour.
Firstly understand if you let yourself enjoy cleaning, doing the dishes, cooking and all the other mundane stuff your child would be interested too. The whole reason they are not interested is because every lived example when it comes to these activities is you complaining about them. How do you expect them to clean, want to be clean, be clean, when every example tells them it is an awful activity?
Plus, more importantly if you stopped fussing over it you also stop becoming frustrated over it, your space is safer.
This is the space family is to me, people who care enough to care about the world they live in to make it the most open and honest world it can be.
A space where we are all free to be who we are together.
We are the same
Freddy has, maybe, possibly, a date in a couple of hours. It may actually be number two, likely number two, not three. He does not have a single clue, so is going to ask her what is going on here, clear shit up.
Communication, from day one, needs to be full of honesty, it is our foundation for safety. So, Woman, I am going to ask you if you are auditioning me to fuck me when I do not know what is going on. I do not wait, the signs you are presenting say what they say but are only signs. I am here to know, tell me what you want, communicate with me.
There is no stereotype, agenda, identity or perception of how I am supposed to behave that I adhere to, none at all. Confusion is a serious issue in this world. Confusion and you and me do not hold hands, not now, not ever.
Yesterday, attended a temazcal, sweat bath. God it was funny, heartbreaking too, just pure heartbreaking. Was dropping tears in the little voice warm-up circle before it started. Closed the eyes, listened to other voices around me, no longer was it only mine, my heart broke, it was the pinnacle of beauty. Thank you.
No further tears after this. Just to know that for once I am not alone, that the people I am there to support are also supporting me, boy oh boy. Sat there and enjoyed it in peace after that. Thank you me, world, God, Suzannah.
The funny, pretty sure have mentioned a DMT trip, the one that helped me decide between where I am and another joint. One direction which was full of the art and a monkey thing really struggling to hold it as per the trip, waiting under a well for water, it was dry.
That same monkey, very same monkey, appeared yesterday in the urn that is used to make the smoke to bless people, clean them and their spirit, open energy, all that good stuff. However, this time, it was not struggling at all, massive smile while holding up the cup with ease.
Then, the well was not dry, there was water, shitloads of water, all of it coming from 15 people. A shitload from me. Can sweat good buddies, ask anybody who knows me, loco!
It is funny Woman, so funny. How our experiences move us forward and keep us learning, understanding and giving encouragement.
So, buddies, mysticism and all that stuff, it is a big part of my life, absolutely adore. It does not come from this and that only, it comes from all this’s and that’s. Everyday things are all things in the space equally with the non-everyday, listening is the only tool required, nothing more, not even drugs.
We are the same pal, our paths are the same no matter the stories leading us there. Please bring this forward with us.
The outcome
A date, it was a date, number two.
I wasn’t sure what was happening, as mentioned. Heril has a spare room and was introduced to me through Rodrigo. She stayed in La Calera too, years ago, only a stones throw from where I was, renting from Rodrigo and Innes.
We met, talk about beautiful women friends, fucking hell! We have now met three times, have not seen the house or the room yet, happening Thursday.
Yesterday, cleared shit up, asked her if she has intentions to fuck me. Cannot remember where the conversation was, about an hour in, talking about communication, honesty, confusion, clarifying.
‘On that note, for instance, I do not know what is going on here. Are we here about the room still or are we here about eachother now?’
I’m deciding if I just want to go all in. Because, I am really enjoying this, what we are doing. She smiles, looks me in the eye, moves her head back to its original position.
‘All in I reckon, why not, and why can’t you have both?’
She invited me out later on, I declined, yeah stupid, haha. But not stupid, I had to clarify with her before she progresses things, my timeline before needing to replenish the funds. She has experience with foreigners leaving after being in a relationship with them, five-year relationship, promising to return and give her the world she wants and delaying the one-month return date for years. Awful.
Pretty clear it isn’t an issue.
Fuckin’ hell mates, talk about beautiful women, from nothing in my life to the pinnacle of beauty, phenomenal.